Look at all the people who love Draimanisms!!!!
10-17-09
12-2-09
Little Dave and his mom are in Sears (and it's not even Sunday)
Dave's Mom: Here, David. Try on these khakis.
Dave: I'm not willing to compromise the man I want to be!
Dave's Mom: You cannot wear black to your bar mitzvah! Now come out of the dressing room and let me see your outfit.
Dave comes on out.
Dave: Think you're a little bit close to changing me?
Dave's Mom: Oh, you look so handsome!
Dave: You're never winnning me over.
Dave's Mom: Oh hush! I want to go get a bow tie for you next.
Dave: You're wasting time!
Dave's Mom: David, hold these tampons while I run down to the bow ties.
Dave: ...Get Away From Me!
-Posted by Funsley from the song "Bound"
11-24-09
Dave is discussing the family cell phone plan
Dave's Son: WOW DADDY! A NEW PHONE!!! Can I call my friends?!
Dave: Call to no one.
Dave's Son: But, why? That's what phones are for...
Dave: Punk ass, are you listening?
Dave's Son: I just don't get why,
Dave: When I stamp it on your forehead you will never forget!
Dave's Son: I don't understand you...
Dave: Don't judge what you don't understand.
~posted by Demonseed, from the song Fear
Dave walks into a shoe repair store
Clerk: What can I do for you sir?
Dave: If I offered you my soul will you carry me away?
Clerk: Okay, get out!
~posted by Funsley
11-23-09
Dave and his family under the Draiman Tree*
Dave: You're holding something just in front of me.
Daves Son: Yes Daddy... It's your Chirstmas present!
Dave Wife: Open it honey.
Dave: (dave opens it and stares)
Daves Son: Do you like it?
Dave: It's just another tie I know I need to sever.
Daves Wife: You are quite a doosh.
Dave: And now the Devils laughing...
~posted by Demonseed
11-22-09
Dave is standing over a crib in a nursery.
Dave: Lost in Slumber, a threat to no one.
Nursery worker: Sir? Can I help you with something?
Dave: Weak and humble, to my disgrace.
Nursery worker: .... Sir you need to leave.
Dave: I'll wipe the world AWAY!
Nursery worker: I'm calling the police.
Dave: Dead Philosophy.
~posted by Demonseed
*Dave is standing in front of his house, which he just set fire to.
Daves Wife: CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! OUR HOME IS BURNING!!!
Dave: We're gonna let it burn.
Daves son: Daddy! Call the firemen!
Dave: Let it Burn.
Daves Wife: What?! Are you going to do nothing!!!
Dave: Til the image fades away
Daves Wife: (looks at Daves son) Sweetie look away for a minute...
~Posted by Demonseed
11-17-09*Dave is out looking for his dog who ran away.
Dave: RETURN TO ME! RETURN TO ME! RETURN TO ME!
Neighbor: What wrong David?
Dave: Leave me no one!
Neighbor: My names Jim, Dave, not no one....
Dave: RETURN TO ME! RETURN TO ME! RETURN TO ME!
Neighbor: Fine ignore me then...
Dave: You made me turn away...
Neighbor: ....... I'm moving.
~added by Demonseed, sorry for lack of updates recently got Dragon Age. Been Masturbating alot more too.
10-29-09
*Midnight in the master bedrooon of the Draiman Cave... Mrs. Draiman feels something poke her*
Dave: "Awaken you!"
Dave's wife: "Not tonight honey."
Dave: "With 'Little Evil' Inside!!"
Dave's Wife: "Don't call it that!"
*Dick slap*
Dave: "I've stricken you"
10-23-09
Dave:Remove the fear from my eyes!
Dave's Optometrist:... Its a simple question... 1 or 2
Dave:Turn away from the shame of your life!
Dave's Optometrist: 1 or 2 mr. draiman, I have other patients waiting...
Dave: Am I precious to you now?
Dave: "Awaken you!"
Dave's wife: "Not tonight honey."
Dave: "With 'Little Evil' Inside!!"
Dave's Wife: "Don't call it that!"
*Dick slap*
Dave: "I've stricken you"
10-21-09
Daves wife: what are you talking about honey? Be quiet its 3 in the AM
Dave: How do you sleep?
Daves wife: Because its fucking 3 in the morning!
Dave: When you live with your lies out of your mouth.
Daves wife: This marriage was a mistake
Dave: You need to release! Let out the beast!
Daves wife: Oh I love it when you talk dirty.
Dave: Step right up and be a part of the action (unzips his pants) Get
your game face on! (puts it in) Because its time to play!!!!
Daves wife: Dont stop
Dave: Your pushing and fighting your way. (stops) Your ripping it apart!
Daves wife: I hate you
-From violence fetish
-----------------------------------------------------------------
10-20-09
Dave's wife: I'm going to go to the RedBox. What do you want?
Dave: Get "PSYCHO"!!!!!!!
Daves Mom: Honey, thank you this chocolate is so decadent, I can't possibly finish it.
Dave: Decadence isn't easy, is it?
Daves Mom: I should have gotten an abortion.....
Dave: "I won't stand another minute of you questioning me"
Don Danagan: "Take it easy, please. Wanna watch Finding Nemo in 3-d?"
Dave: "The interrogation's over!"
Dan: "But, it's your favorite movie."
Dave: "I can't handle of the feeling of you pestering me"
Dan Donegan: "What kind of way is this to have a conversation?!"
Dave: "How would you like to meet my favorite fist?! Bet-A-Ya-Ta!"
Don: "I think I quit"
Hair dresser: What can we do for you david?
Dave: Take everything away!
Hair dresser: bald it is
Dave's Son: Daddy, can you help me with this homework question.
Dave: Divide, divide, divide, divide!
Dave's Son: But it's history homework...
Dave: Divide , divide, break apart and divide!
Dave's Son: I'm calling CPS...
Dave: SURVIVOR!!!!!
Dave's wife: yes... it's time for Survivor. Calm down please.
Dave: SURVIVOR-OR-OR-OR-OR!!!!
Dave's wife: You love CBS, huh? Did you have a good day, hunny?
Dave: One more God Damn day when I know what i want and the want will be considered tonight!
Dave's wife: That's nice. I like talking to you like this...
Dave: Just another day when all that I want will mock me as I sit here tonight.
Dave's wife: Uhhh...
Dave: I'm a sinner tonight, YEAH!
Dave's wife: OK, nevermind. You creeped me out now.
Dave Interrupts: Give in to the night!
Daves Wife: .... ok, and I am feeling frisky. What do you want to do?Dave: GET PSYCHO!
Daves Wife: what?
Dave: I WANNA GET PSYCHO!!!
Daves Wife: I cant believe I shaved for this...
Dave: Run you little BITCH!
Dave: "DEAD"
Dave's son: "oh no. You got that crazy look in your eyes"
Dave: "There's no compromise..."
Dave's son: "Here it comes..."
Dave: "Just another tie I know I need to sever"
Dave's son: "Did you just think of a new song?"
Dave: PLEASE LET ME OUT!
Dan Donegan: NO! you kicked out fuzz so fuck you!
Dave: PLEASE LET ME OUT!
Dan Donegan: no...
Dave: Please let ME...
Dan Donegan: ... What?!?
Dave: How come I wasnt able to see another Vampire,
Trick or Treater: but I'm a power ranger mr...
Dave interrupts: Sucking up my life (OW!)
Trick or Treater: Are you gonna give me candy or not, I need to go home and feed my dog?
Dave: Ripped out my heart and started to feed
Trick or Treater: Your scaring me....
Dave: I tell you now, my little puppet, you'll suffer me
Dave's mom: "Merry Christmas Dave. Do you like your sweater?"
Dave: "Madness is a give that's given to me!"
Dave's mom: "You're getting little sock next year, you midget!"
